A Resolution That’s Not About You

Most of our New Year’s resolutions have something to do with ourselves. Our word of the year is usually something about what we hope to accomplish or focus on, related to ourselves. Our resolutions are about making better choices, consuming better, exercising more.. it’s about what we hope to make better about ourselves.

I have a suggestion for a resolution that’s not about you, though.

This one is a resolution for your kids.

4 year old boy ecstatically holding up a new shark toy.

This is not about changing your kids, or trying to make them be better than they are. This is about helping your kids, boosting their self esteem, giving them confidence, and helping them see themselves as part of a greater whole.

This is about your kids seeing themselves in photographs. There’s science behind this, psychology behind what photographs do, and the benefits to kids’ mental health when they see photos of themselves in prominent locations.

Little girl lays on her bed next to her dad and laughs, while holding her stuffies.

Science (and my own experience) says that when kids see themselves in photos with their family, and those photos are placed in noticeable spots where they can see the photos regularly, their self esteem goes up and their confidence soars.

Why?

Because they see themselves as part of a family, not just a single individual. They see how much they’re loved.

And when those photos are in places that parents deem important, kids realize that their parents regard the subject of the photos important, and worthy of being seen and honored. They realize that they are important. It creates a real boost in mental health.

So, what’s the best way to set a resolution to help boost your kids’ self esteem this year?

There are a few ways you can do it:

  • Get in photos with your kids. It’s important for them to see themselves with you, in those photos. A photo of them by themselves doesn’t show the love and connection that you have together, which is really what’s boosting that self esteem, after all.

  • Print the photos you already have. Keeping your photos on your phone or computer does nothing to help your kid. Even if they see your lock screen on a regular basis, it’s not the same as a printed photo that greets them on their bedside table every morning when they wake up.

  • Update the photos you’ve already printed. That newborn photo is adorable, but if your son is 6, he might not even recognize himself in that photo. Or he may argue in his head that the baby version of himself was more lovable than the current version (lies and untruths, of course, but there’s no arguing with a 6 year old who needs a boost of confidence). Anyway, update your hanging photos.

  • Print a photo book each year (starting… now) so that your kids can look back and see how they’ve been loved all along. From the very beginning. And how that love hasn’t diminished with age. And how life together really is fun, even on hard days when it doesn’t feel like it all the time.

Allison Patel holds her kids at home

I can help with any of the above techniques:

  • You can hire me to come and make photos of your family, commemorating the beauty of your play together at home.

  • Email me and I’ll send you some suggestions of where to print your photos, to get great quality and fun versions of prints depending on the location in your house.

  • If you need help getting started (or finished) on a family photo book, I’ve launched Yearbooks to help you with this! I take on a limited number of spots each month for this. (Oh, and you don’t need to live local to me to take advantage of this.)

However you intend to fulfill this resolution in 2024, get started on it now, so your kids can get the most out of your completed project. Boosting their self esteem can’t happen too soon.

Allison Patel and her family, standing in front of a map at home.
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Introducing: Yearbooks

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How to Get Ahead in The Bonus Week