Why I Hired a Doula for My Second Birth

I hired a doula for both of my births, but today I want to talk specifically about why I hired a doula (this doula) for my second birth.

Hiring a doula for my second birth was harder than hiring one for my first, because my first doula was a(n amazing) friend from college, which made it easy to choose her. She unfortunately (for me) decided soon after my first birth that she was retiring from the doula business. Maybe it was the all-nighter I made her pull as my husband called her for advice, or the drive through the snow from her cozy home to the hospital, only to sit and wait as my labor stalled and I dozed fitfully on the bed, that made her decide that she didn’t want to be a doula anymore. Glad I could help push you to that career transition, Jenny.

So, when it was time to look for a doula again for my second pregnancy, I had to consider whether it was really going to be worth it. I’d need to interview potential doulas, who would all be strangers. Plus, I’d already given birth once, so I could probably do it again without a doula. But even though I’d been through it before, I knew that there were some aspects of labor and delivery where I’d appreciate having another advocate in the room with me.

I interviewed three lovely, very capable, and charming doulas at Mybirth, and ultimately decided on Elise Benoit (who has since moved over to another doula group). I chose her because of her personal experience in birth (she is a mom and has experienced labor and delivery herself), and her experience postpartum with hormone imbalance and postpartum struggles that matched my own experience with my first birth.

Do I feel like having a doula was worth it? Absolutely. Even though I was induced at the hospital and didn’t get to labor at home? Still, yes. Here’s why:

She was a terrific advocate for me throughout the hard part of labor and delivery. Similar to my first birth, I waited until I felt like I really needed it before I got an epidural. Not similar to my first birth though, the epidural only worked on one side of my body. Want to know what’s more painful than an unexpected unmedicated birth? An unexpected half-unmedicated birth, when half of your body is numb below the waist, and half of it definitely is not. Elise advocated for me, suggested different positions to help alleviate the pressure and pain (they don’t usually let you move around after receiving an epidural since it’s not super safe when you can’t feel your legs) and got the nurses on board with moving my body into those positions, since again, I couldn’t feel one of my legs.

She stayed by my side while the birth team couldn’t. I was in an unofficial competition with the woman next door for the birth team’s attention that night, and Elise was there to help me practice some deep breathing to keep my daughter from making her big entrance without a support team in the room.

Elise also acted as a witness for my birth and could commiserate with my husband and process with him on what they had both seen, which was helpful for him. She also had a far better memory of the action than me, and was the only other adult woman who knew exactly what it had taken to bring my daughter out. She checked up on me in the days and weeks after birth, to see how I was doing with hormone imbalances and postpartum stuff. It was nice to have someone check in on me.

If you’re thinking about hiring a doula, even if you’ve given birth before, I would do it (and I did). The support, both during and after birth, is definitely worth the investment.

Want to know where else I would invest money as I prepare for a baby? Here are five baby professionals in Richmond that I love.