Eight Things I Wish I’d Known Before I Became a Parent
My son just recently turned five, and with a milestone birthday comes all the nostalgia and reminiscing between me and my husband. Texts with baby pictures and “remember when” fly back and forth between us for weeks, as we relive the newborn stage through Google Photo reminders. Most of the memories are cheery, rose-colored and heart warming. But there are some things that pop up that I remember wishing I’d known before my son was born. If you’re a soon-to-be parent, this list is for you.
Newborns can show you how hungry they are by balling up their fists. My son was born with a tongue tie, which was missed in the hospital (the lactation consultant actually said he did NOT have a tongue tie) and by the pediatrician. So while I thought he was eating all the time, he was not getting the food he needed when he nursed, and was constantly hungry. So even though he had just nursed, he would cry from hunger and I would search for all the things - dirty diaper, improper swaddle, gas bubble, etc - and would get frustrated by my own inability to help him. Oftentimes, newborns will release their balled up fists when they’re nice and full. (Incidentally, if you’re not sure what’s wrong, checking to see if they’re hungry is a good first step.)
The forehead trick. You can see if a baby is tired by rubbing a gentle finger down, vertically on the forehead crest between their eyes - and if they are tired, you can make them fall asleep. This was a real game changer for us when we figured this out. Credit to my husband for doing the googling and finding that trick. We used it for months, and sometimes it still works on my three year old daughter.
There will be more laundry than you could possibly expect. I have nothing more to add to that. Just prepare yourself for a mountain of laundry with all manner of bodily fluids on them.
You will sleep again (but it won’t feel like it at first). I cried in my first few days home from the hospital. In my extremely tired brain, I honestly thought I’d never sleep more than 3 hours at a time. Thankfully that has not been the case and I get decent sleep these days. But it’s taken a long time to get there.
Babies don’t know how to nurse when they’re born. Yes, there are some instincts that kick in, but just like you don’t know how to nurse before you do it the first time, your little one might need some adjusting. And bless them, if they have a tongue or lip tie, they might need professional help. Here’s a professional who can help if you’re struggling with nursing.
Bicycle kicks are a miracle for baby gas. Very new babies might have a hard time getting gas out of their bodies because they’ve never done that before. Gas bubbles can be painful and make babies cry, so trying different positions can help. Being upright after feedings can help, as can tummy time. But if you’re still having issues, try gently moving your baby’s legs like they’re riding a bike, and see if that helps. It helped us a ton.
Diaper frills go on the outside. Don’t tuck the frills. Oy. The brand of diaper we used (Pampers) had frills along the edge that I thought needed to be tucked in to help keep everything inside. I was incorrect, which led to that mound of laundry I mentioned earlier. The frills need to go outside the diaper. Always.
And speaking of tucking, and laundry… nobody mentioned in my baby care classes that it matters where the penis is pointed when you put on a diaper. Point it down, people. Point it down.
I hope this list is helpful for you if you’re about to embark on a parenting adventure! Here are some other posts you can reference if you have other questions about pregnancy or new parenthood:
5 Questions to Ask a Newborn Photographer
