Forever and the Blink of an Eye

It was snowing. Panera Bread was my last meal before my water broke. The shower during labor was the best shower of my whole life. The overnight nurse was amazing, I really wish I remembered her name. I felt an overwhelming need to put in my Invisalign retainers, but never asked anyone to hand me my retainer case, so it just became this thing I was hyper focused on. The body shakes, both during and after birth. The warm compresses my doula offered the doctor, which I gladly accepted between pushes.

These are the things I remember most about five years ago, when I was waiting for my first-born to join us here.

There are so many things I don’t remember about that day, and the many days afterwards. It felt like the newborn stage lasted forever but I was only home for 10 weeks before I had to return to work. Just two and a half months. That time feels dark (it was January) and hard when I think back on it. So it’s especially sweet to have photos from that time that counteract those memories, and remind me of the quiet first days, when we were extra quiet while he was sleeping (which was all the time), when I felt glued to the couch with him in my arms and just held him for hours at a time.

Five years is forever and just the blink of an eye.

The changes feel small and incremental, most of the time. And you don’t see how much your baby has changed until you look back. But when you do look back… forever, and just the blink of an eye.

Take some pictures, whydontcha.