5 Questions to Ask When You’re Pregnant
I started this series with a nearly-literal explosion of inspiration back in August. A friend of mine was newly pregnant, and while she had spent a lot of time and effort to become pregnant, she hadn’t allowed herself to consider what it would mean when she actually became pregnant. Once the shock of it wore off, she realized just how little she knew about pregnancy, birth, newborns, and the transition to parenthood.
This is not a shot at her: we don’t know what we don’t know, and new mothers-to-be know even less about what we don’t know. Movies that include birth are inaccurate at best (but how would we know?) and it feels like friends and family who have been there before only tell stories in the extreme - the very best or the very worst of their experience - and it’s hard to determine what, if any of it, is relevant to you as you go through it.
This series will cover a lot of things, but by no means will cover everything, so continue to ask questions, educate yourself, become your own advocate, and surround yourself with support for your transition to parenthood.
This week: 5 general questions to ask when you’re pregnant. I know, five questions is nowhere near enough questions. But it might be enough to get your wheels turning, and to inspire you to ask other questions.
5 questions to ask when you’re pregnant:
How many times will I get to see my baby during my pregnancy?
I’ve had two babies, and the number of times I got to see my baby via sonogram was different between the two pregnancies. One baby was considered high risk and we had to keep a closer eye on them, which meant we had sonograms at nearly every visit. I thought that would be the case with the other, but it was not. The other pregnancy was not high risk and we got to see that baby far less. It’s good to know what to expect.
What are the advantages and risks of amniocentesis?
Did you know you can decline certain tests and procedures? Do you know what those tests and procedures are? Things like the amniocentesis, cervix checks leading up to your due date, and membrane sweeps before or during labor, are all optional, and you’re allowed to decline them if you want. It’s good to know the advantages and disadvantages of tests and procedures ahead of time, before they’re due to be performed and you’re in the hot seat being asked if you want them.
What is a doula, and do I need one?
A doula is a non-medical advocate and birth expert who will stay with you during labor and delivery. Whether you need one or not is going to depend on you, your comfort level with birth (if you’ve never done it before, it might be nice to have someone with you who has), and whether or not you’re very comfortable advocating for yourself and navigating new situations by yourself. A doula will help you with (non-chemical or medical) pain management, will educate you ahead of time, help you develop your birth plan and desires and help you navigate through those as your birth progresses. I was glad to have someone experienced with me during both of my births, even with my partner by my side. It was comforting to know we didn’t have to figure it out as we went.
Can I eat before a glucose test?
This is a good question to ask. My doctor told me before my one-hour glucose test that it was fine to eat before my test, but that if I failed my one-hour test, I would need to come back for the three-hour test (which is, by definition three times worse). I then magically failed my one hour test and had to come back for the three hour test, which I can verify is three times worse than the one hour test. So, consider that when you schedule your glucose test (I recommend first thing in the morning, and not eating beforehand, but I’m not a doctor).
What do I do if I’m concerned about something in my pregnancy?
While Facebook groups might be good for immediate calm, if you’re truly worried about something, message your doctor or midwife instead. If you have a good caregiver, they won’t mind if you message with a concern after hours. And if you’re very concerned about anything and not receiving a response from your primary caregiver, whisk yourself to the ER to get it checked out. If it’s nothing, you will get peace of mind. If it’s something, you’ll be in a good place to receive the care you need.
There will be more questions, and I can only encourage you to ask as many as you can, as you go. There may be sub-questions, and questions you never need to know the answers to. Every pregnancy is different. I hope this inspires some new lines of communication for you with your care giver. Share this with a pregnant friend if you find it helpful, and check out the other posts on this topic:
5 Questions to Ask a Certified Lactation Counselor