I turned 40 this week. And while I didn’t have an existential crisis over it (I had one of those when I became a parent), I have unexpectedly found myself questioning the existence of Allison Patel Photography. In an effort to update my website copy, I started filling out a workbook to help me put things in perspective. Question number 3 is Why are you in business? Why did you decide to do what you do? Why is it important for you to offer your products and services to others? What’s your purpose? and I suddenly found myself at a complete and unexpected loss.

I mean, on the surface, APP exists to provide fun and simple photography services to busy families in the Richmond area. But there are a lot (LOT) of other photographers also doing that. And that doesn’t answer the why. Why did I start my business in the first place? Why did I decide in 2011 that I needed to do more with photography than just take pictures for myself? Why am I still in business now in 2022, and are those reasons the same as they were back then?

I’ve been pondering this existential question for the better part of a week now. I’ve taken walks to ponder it, I’ve prayed about it, I’ve talked to my partner and read all kinds of articles about purpose. One dear friend kindly asked my existential crisis was misplaced anxiety related to the terribleness in the world. She might not be wrong, but it still didn’t help me answer my questions.

Then I started to look through my own blog. I’ve been blogging since 2011, so I figured there’s got to be at least one entry with a sense of purpose tied to it.

I found some good reasons for photography:

To help your kids see you as a person, and not just a parent. (Pictures of You, 2018)

Because none of us live forever. (Why Waiting for Something to Happen Means Nothing Will Happen, 2014) (TW: I was processing my pup’s death in this one.)

Because nothing lasts forever (remember that existential crisis I mentioned when I became a parent? This is linked to that.) (Lifestyle Photography: Nothing Lasts Forever, 2018)

These are all good reasons for making photographs, but they still aren’t good enough for me explain why I’m in business. I could make photographs all day every day for my family instead of your family, but something would be missing.

And I know that my reason for being in business is not revenue. I had a perfectly good job with excellent health insurance and a consistent paycheck that I could have kept if feeding my family was my only goal.

I rifled through client messages to see if I could find my why. And buried in my texts and screenshots, I found it. A message from a repeat client and friend, a very busy mom who likes to text me occasionally to tell me how much she likes my services. (I’m not mad about it.)

It was this one message in particular though, that caught my eye and poked me in the chest:

“It’s so amazing to have photos of this moment in time. Of our love and connection through the chaos. Those pictures are so good. And they’re so important. And I can’t talk about it much more or I’m going to cry…”

There it was. The connection I’d been missing was, in fact, connection. It’s not enough for me to photograph my family (though I do, and will always). APP exists to help families see the love and connection they have with each other, through the chaos of daily life. To show you proof of that connection that you think is lost most days. To boost the confidence of your kids when they see how loved and supported they are in printed photographs. It’s not perfection. It’s not to create an illusion of something that doesn’t exist. It’s to highlight what’s already here, to remind you of what you already have.

That’s why I’m here. It’s why I continue to push on and why I feel so strongly that family photography (and specifically, printed family photography) is so very important. Making the photography with your family fun and simple is a beautiful by-product. (And if I can make you cry happy tears at least once in our interactions, I consider my job well done.)

So. Crisis averted. I know why I’m here. And if you’re here for the same reason, I’d love to work with you. Go here to fill out my contact form and tell me about the family you’d love to reconnect with.